Waxing Philosophical.

Most things are a process. I was attempting to describe happiness to a friendthe other day. We were having a totally insane conversation about sandwiches and sausages. I told her that I don't consider happiness to be this ideal - a state. I don't believe in the "Land of Happy" as it were. In fact, I kind of consider happiness to be like cake. It's great once in a while, you enjoy it, but if you ate a steady diet of cake - you would end up fat, unhealthy, you would absolutely cease to enjoy the cake, and chances are you would die of a massive coronary. Happiness is something you enjoy when you have it, but you have to experience other things to be able to sustain that enjoyment.Grief is the same really. Not that you enjoy grief, but grief is cathartic - actually allowing yourself to go through the process and end up on the other side. You can learn some amazing things about yourself, gain insight, perspective. No, I wouldn't wish grief on anyone, but having experienced quite a bit of it myself I do know that there is an "other side". It isn't easy to get there, but it is worthwhile.Grief is a healing process. At first it's a gaping wound, it scabs over, you move to soon and it cracks open, maybe gets infected... but evetually it scars over. You'll always have a reminder of that pain, but you'll never experience pain like you did at first. Eventually you'll just feel a dull achey throb every once in a while. The memories of the intense pain will fade, if you dwell you can recall it, but you get to a functional point where you don't need to dwell anymore. You realize that dwelling, feeling that pain, it doesn't make a difference. But surrendering to the grief it isn't going to change the situation, it isn't going to bring them back.I suppose it is a matter of time. If we stay in that place, the "Land of Grief" as it were, we don't have to move on. Moving on is often the most difficult part. Grief sometimes seems to be the last state we shared with them/it/that part of ourselves, and we don't want to let it go. But we have to or we stagnate and die.

Sometimes you just have to do it. You just have to put yourself out there and see what happens. I know it's impossible to run away really, but there is something to be said for a change in circumstance giving you a new perspective. I'm sure you've seen Dead Poets Society. We've all seen Dead Poets Society. You remember the scene involving standing on the desk, and the change in perspective? I think moving on is like that. Sometimes you have to remove yourself from the norm in order to make the changes that you need to make.

So, here is to moving on.